Stephen Fahey: The Wizard of Athy

It has come to light that there is a wizard living and working in Athy. You might think that I’m joking when I say ‘wizard’, but I’m not. At all. This individual performs magic every day, conjuring mythical objects from the most humble of ingredients. He uses fire and stone and ancient wisdom, but there are absolutely no, I repeat, NO newt eyes or wings of bat involved. His name is Michal Nowak.

He describes his Novak’s Restaurant as ‘a relaxed family friendly dining experience’, but I tell you that there are spells at play in that house of fine joys. So much so, in fact, that the bread he serves as a sides drew such demand that he had to start baking extra loaves and selling them to the public through choice (extremely fortunate) outlets around Ireland.

Then his magic took on a life of its own. In less than a month the sales of this bread grew, exponentially. Of course, in no time at all, demand (far) outstripped supply. Even though his bread can only be purchased by booking through his social media and collecting at said outlets, it is so good that people now queue up to be sure that they can get it. Again, this is bread we’re talking about. Not the cure to some horrifying illness, not bars of gold, not the answer to the meaning of life. But such is the quality of his art.

Soon the restaurant just couldn’t keep up with demand, so a new facility is being opened in Limerick to ease the masses that are likely to start killing each other off just to be sure that they get their hands on his goods. You see, Nowak’s bread is a natural bread. It’s bread the way that it was always meant to be eaten and has been eaten for hundreds of years. It lasts far, far longer than modern bread does and it also tastes unlike modern bread, because it is pure. It still has its soul. It actually. Tastes. Magical.

I won’t recommend that you get onto his social media before you even finish reading this and locate a store near you (or far from you – it really is worth driving at least an hour each way for), because I don’t have to. I won’t even include a link. You’re perfectly capable finding that yourself. Nor am I going to tell you any more than I already have. Because I’ve already said too much. And because the new facility isn’t finished yet and if you get in the queue in front of me I too am likely to do some weird-angry stuff to you just so I can get my hands no my own couple of loaves.

Now, with all that being said, for just one moment, pause right where you are and imagine what his starters, mains and deserts are like! I’ll see you there.

Stephen Fahey

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